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You Can't Afford To Feel It

from Imago by Beccy Owen

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lyrics

The arthritis in my fingers reminds me of your mother, and I think I understand her better than I did. I can imagine that you’re angry and that you can’t afford to feel it, ‘cos to feel it is to still be connected in some way. I heard you went back to the artist, she’s oh so kind and oh so loyal, but she reminds me of your mother, I bet she kisses without tongue. And love, I know that I sound angry, but to me that is an anchor, ‘cos to feel it is to still be connected in some way. The inflammation comes and goes. Today it’s hardly there at all. But I have formed an odd attachment to the undulating pain. I’ve tried to love another lover, he’s oh so kind and oh so loyal, and he has even met my mother, but he can’t kiss me like you did...I think that last bit was too candid, and if he asks I’ll claim invention, creative license plain and simple, but he’ll still feel a stab of pain, and then we’ll both form an attachment to our doomed unfolding saga (I think those issues with my father have turned me into a cliche.) I caught the early worm this morning, awoke to find that I had dreamed you, and that this whole song was invention to feel connected in some way. Still the arthritis in my finger, it reminds me of your mother. To be reminded is to still be better than I have become.

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from Imago, released December 9, 2013

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Beccy Owen Whitley Bay, UK

Butter brings me out in ghosts

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